Does it matter?

Everyone always says that things are too complicated these days. We have too much information, too many stories trying to get our attention, and too many people trying to rile us up for various causes. What is a [nearly] sane person to do? Well, I am developing a formula so that I only get upset at the most upset-worthy things, and rest just slides away so that I can catch up on Facebook in peace.

(Issue + Viewpoint 1 + Viewpoint 2)PossibleOutcome - OutcomeSoFar = HowMuchICare
*Please note that this only works with a minimum of two viewpoints.

Let's take a rather controversial example to illustrate my process. When Barak Obama bowed to a foreign dignitary, much of America was in a firestorm over the event. Me? My main thought was "What's for lunch?". I just wasn't revved up for either side of the debate.

I'm going to give a little detail into how I got my Viewpoint, PossibleOutcome and OutcomeSoFar variables, first:

1. The meaning of a bow is cultural and there are tons of contextual nuances to consider.

a). Viewpoint 1 is that the bow was a sign of respect. If that's the case, I'm okay with that. I like to think that we respect other nations, and I'm sure they appreciate such sentiments (PossibleOutcome). It just seems like something positive that helps keep everything spinning.

b). Viewpoint 2 is that the bow was a sign of subservience, in which case it could be taken two ways. It could be a sign of disrespect to Americans. I grant that. But it also occurs to me that the symbolic gesture could actually do us a great deal of good in international relations (PossibleOutcome). I know this is incredibly hard to believe, but a good portion of the world sees America as kind of arrogant and pushy. If we really are as powerful a nation as we believe, I'm pretty sure we can absorb a hit to our pride for the cause of goodwill and future cooperation. So, I don't consider the disrespect thing to be a heavy hitter.

c). Whatever happened symbolically, in the more relevant matters of America's power and safety and nationalism, it really doesn't change anything (OutcomeSoFar). Our military is still there, our economy (such as it is) is still ticking, our government still meets and our bargaining power with other nations doesn't seem to be affected.


Now, I'm not a math genius, but if I add all this up I get:
(Bow + PossibleRespect + PossibleSubsurvience)AngryAmericans/ PositiveInternationalRelations - NoChange = More Cheetos.

...Oops. Make that, "= Doesn't change anything, hurts only pride in a country famous for arrogance, so not feeling the urgency".

As another example, let's take the scenario of a magazine announcing that researchers may have found another clue to curing some disease. I see these fairly often. Then I read the article and realize that the discovery, albeit in a promising direction, has so many "might's" and "maybe's" and "possible's" attached, it's like navigating a minefield to find the meat of the article. Basically, many of these wonderful discoveries are actually akin to getting the gas cap off your car so you can fill up for a cross-country road trip. When I encounter one of these, I just skim the article before moving on to truly enlightening discoveries- like about how to achieve bikini abs.

(Discovery + ThisIsPromising + ThisIsn'tGettingUsAnywhere)CouldCure - Hasn'tCuredAnythinYet = Don'tBetYourLifeSavingsOnIt

On the other hand, we really do sometimes have things that affect us. Take the illness of a close family member, for instance:

(Illness + LessNaggingNow + ILoveFamily)GuiltLaterIfNotHelpingNow - OpportunityToHelp = Yes,ICare

Now I must come up with a name for this brilliant new formula...